I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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