The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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