Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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