Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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