I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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