we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
