i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
