If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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