I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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