3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
