found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Randomize
