He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
