Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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