y did u give ur computer a hand job?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
