Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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