i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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