Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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