I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
