His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
the raccoons are back...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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