do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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