Well apparently he's into motor boating.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
