We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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