She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
