I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
