I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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