My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
