Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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