as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
