i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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