Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
