i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
