I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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