I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
