whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
