a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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