hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dignity is for republicans.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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