North Korea, Best Korea!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
