she woke up with a sticky ear
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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