Plan B is the new Plan A
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have aggressive nipples.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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