It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
