I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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