She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
