honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
