we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it's like iHOP with fire
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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