Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My life is pants optional.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
