he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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