Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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