I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
