Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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