Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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