But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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