sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
