i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
