And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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