oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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