who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
